Autumn's here and in the country I think you feel it more than in the towns. You look around and people and nature seem to be battening down the hatches. There's that sunlight in the evening now. The pale, almost dusty golden sunlight, that looks great if you're looking at it from some darkened glade, across a field dotted with sheep. It makes you feel poetic and calm. I like that a lot.
Pheasant's are looking nervous. I mean they always look and act a bit highly strung, but whether or not they can sense the shooting season approaching (and of course they can't), they seem to dive into a bush a lot quicker these days, when you pass by. The mess they made of my frigging lettuce, I reckon I'll be slinging some buck shot their way if I get the opportunity. They breed them round here somewhere and my normal rally to work was delayed by about five minutes, when I turned a corner to find about three hundred of the fuckers crowding the road. Stupid little things, darting this way and that like - well, chickens. They move like the Velociraptors move in Jurassic Park, but without the purpose, or, thankfully, the teeth.
There's a couple of squirrels that jump about in the walnut tree and they've started hoarding their nuts. I know where a couple of the stashes are and one night I'm going out and I'm going to move them. Just to mess with their little squirrel minds. You've got to find some way to pass the time out here.
Have I mentioned we have an Aga? A Rayburn to be exact, but much the same thing, as range ovens go. Absolute rubbish. If someone gushes to you that 'there's no better way to cook', then you know for a fact that, one they haven't got a job and, two, they've got more money than sense. The fucking things take about 3 hours to get to the right temperature for a start, which is triffic if all you've got to do is embroider all day, but a right pain in the ass if you're getting in from work at five and want to eat before eight or nine at night. Now, I'll admit that the Rayburn will cook the ass off a pizza (stonebake anyone?) and if you've got half a day, you can cook a lovely roast, but if you want to serve veg with that roast don't try and cook them on the top of a range, 'cause you'll be there for a week. At no point does anything actually boil. Pasta sort of goes soft, then wilts and gets all flowery, but the water never reaches boiling point. We wanted a chicken tikka last night and I, kid you not, had to cook it on the barbeque! You can't fry on it.
Economically too, you're screwed, because you have to have the oven on for an hour or two before you can cook anything, then once you've finished, all the heat just - does nothing. It's wasted. Well, actually it heats the water, but you might as well use a cigarette lighter to do that, for all the heat it generates in the water. And you know what the price of oils like nowadays., not to mention the £2500 you've already splashed out to buy an oven you can't fry chicken on.
Talking of ciggy lighters, don't light a fag after you've cleaned oil off the oven pipes (obvious one this), because you're fingers will, literally, burn. You'll look like Heatblast. I did.
No MP3s to post at the moment, or more honestly, that I can be bothered to post at the moment. Here's yet another video. Good one this. Not the sort of thing I'd usually post on here, but it'll get your feet moving. Mine are shuffling around, as I write. Check the styles...
Pheasant's are looking nervous. I mean they always look and act a bit highly strung, but whether or not they can sense the shooting season approaching (and of course they can't), they seem to dive into a bush a lot quicker these days, when you pass by. The mess they made of my frigging lettuce, I reckon I'll be slinging some buck shot their way if I get the opportunity. They breed them round here somewhere and my normal rally to work was delayed by about five minutes, when I turned a corner to find about three hundred of the fuckers crowding the road. Stupid little things, darting this way and that like - well, chickens. They move like the Velociraptors move in Jurassic Park, but without the purpose, or, thankfully, the teeth.
There's a couple of squirrels that jump about in the walnut tree and they've started hoarding their nuts. I know where a couple of the stashes are and one night I'm going out and I'm going to move them. Just to mess with their little squirrel minds. You've got to find some way to pass the time out here.
Have I mentioned we have an Aga? A Rayburn to be exact, but much the same thing, as range ovens go. Absolute rubbish. If someone gushes to you that 'there's no better way to cook', then you know for a fact that, one they haven't got a job and, two, they've got more money than sense. The fucking things take about 3 hours to get to the right temperature for a start, which is triffic if all you've got to do is embroider all day, but a right pain in the ass if you're getting in from work at five and want to eat before eight or nine at night. Now, I'll admit that the Rayburn will cook the ass off a pizza (stonebake anyone?) and if you've got half a day, you can cook a lovely roast, but if you want to serve veg with that roast don't try and cook them on the top of a range, 'cause you'll be there for a week. At no point does anything actually boil. Pasta sort of goes soft, then wilts and gets all flowery, but the water never reaches boiling point. We wanted a chicken tikka last night and I, kid you not, had to cook it on the barbeque! You can't fry on it.
Economically too, you're screwed, because you have to have the oven on for an hour or two before you can cook anything, then once you've finished, all the heat just - does nothing. It's wasted. Well, actually it heats the water, but you might as well use a cigarette lighter to do that, for all the heat it generates in the water. And you know what the price of oils like nowadays., not to mention the £2500 you've already splashed out to buy an oven you can't fry chicken on.
Talking of ciggy lighters, don't light a fag after you've cleaned oil off the oven pipes (obvious one this), because you're fingers will, literally, burn. You'll look like Heatblast. I did.
No MP3s to post at the moment, or more honestly, that I can be bothered to post at the moment. Here's yet another video. Good one this. Not the sort of thing I'd usually post on here, but it'll get your feet moving. Mine are shuffling around, as I write. Check the styles...
Big Boss Man - 'Humanize'
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